Fashion and Wardrobe

Telling Your Child "Because I Said So" Is Never the Answer!

Children are naturally inquisitive and want to know the ins and outs of everything they see and here. A child asking, “why why why” over and over and over again can be a daunting issue, no wonder they"re known as generation why. But, however great the tendency to answer with “Because”, doing do should be avoided whenever possible. When they are younger, it"s usually because they"re just trying to come to terms with and make sense of the world around them. As they get older, they want to know why you think that something is important and why they too should feel the same way. But regardless of their age, it"s important, when establishing rules and expectations in your home, that they understands that the rules are there for a reason, what those reasons are and that shouldn"t be questioned. They also need to know what will be the consequences of breaking those rules and why. Younger children especially will not understand a lengthy explanation of, say, why it"s important they be home from their friend"s home at a certain time. Remember though, the one thing they really love to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. So when a young child asks "Why?" or "Why not?" when they are told they can"t or, alternatively, why they do need to do something, simply and calmly explain to them that "because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you." Don"t use the term, "Because I said so," as it only adds to the child"s frustration and confusion. Older children, adolescents and teenagers alike, will not be satisfied with a simple explanation. So when they ask you "Why?" or "Why not?" answer them directly and honestly, clearly stating your reasoning. Instead of just saying, "Because I said so", ensure you know in your own mind why the rule is such and such, and then give them a reasoned answer. For instance, "I need you to be home by ten pm because you have a dentist"s appointment first thing in the morning for your regular check-up and if you"re late it will have to be re-arranged." This would also be a good time to reiterate the consequences of breaking the rule. Continuing the example above, you could say, "If you are not home by ten pm, you"ll be grounded from going to your friend"s house for a week." Be consistent, be firm, and be clear. They may not like it but they will understand. Whilst your child may challenge your reasoning for a particular it shows they are growing as an individual able to think for themselves. So remember, next time they question your authority or simply want to know "why" something is as it is, don"t get angry or frustrated, realize it"s their way of making sense of the world around them and proof that they are developing into thinking rational human beings, capable of navigating through life.


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