Home and FamilyParent Affirmations: Are Yours Too General?
Are your affirmations too general? Would your child be better motivated by more detail? Would you like your child to feel valued? Learn how to create the best affirmations for motivating and valuing your child.
Imagine being a child. Your parents just attended your school play. You were the star. On the way home, your parents told you, "That was good." Would you be satisfied? Would you probe for more? Would you feel let down?
Let"s say you hit a home run and it won the baseball game. On the way home your dad said, "Good game," but nothing about your home run. Would "Good game" be enough?
Perhaps you rescued your friend, Billy, from drowning. Everyone paid attention to Billy. Finally, his mom looked at you and said, "Thanks." Would you be pleased?
What do "That was good," "Good Game," and "Thanks" have in common? That"s right. They"re too general. What do they lack? Right again, they lack specificity.
Specificity describes a few particulars to affirm. The parents of the star actor could have specified with "You spoke loud, clear, and with great expression. Your gestures showed me what you were saying and your facial expressions fit your words and gestures. You were good." Be honest, wouldn"t you rather hear this specific affirmation than "That was good"?
The parents of the home run hitter might have said, "When you smacked that ball, I knew it was a "homer." Your whole team cheered as you raced around the bases. I couldn"t stop screaming. You won the game today." Is this a better and more specific affirmation than "Good game"?
The mother of your rescued friend could have said, "You acted bravely today. I"m proud of your quick reaction to Billy"s danger. You showed us all how courageous you are. Thank you so much for jumping in and saving Billy." Would this specific affirmation be more satisfying than just, "Thanks"?
Notice the affirmations you give your child. If yours are too general, make them more specific. Increase your child"s desire to repeat positive behavior. Increase your child"s sense of feeling valued. You"ll be increasing your child"s self-esteem and you"ll be building character too.