Home and FamilyA Short Guide to Great Relationships
The foundation stone.
Relationships are like plants. They need to be nurtured with love, care and understanding. You need to work at it on a regular basis and learn the skills needed to make it grow. Those who take relationships for granted and do not take the time to do the maintenance will find a once beautiful relationship will wilt and die.
Good communication
is the foundation stone of any healthy relationship. But there must also be lashings of mutual respect and commitment to each other.
You must learn to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, even if they are unpleasant. Very often the fear of offending your partner makes you keep quiet, and you choose to suffer in silence. Not only doing an injustice to you but also sowing the seeds of unhappiness and mistrust.
You must trust each other. Suspicion breeds hate, jealousy and sorrow. Often, these feelings get out of control, and destroy relationships. The best way to keep the flame of trust shining bright is to confide in your partner. It removes mistrust, and does not allow misunderstandings to grow.
You must honest with each other. Don’t hesitate to brush unpleasant issues under the carpet. If you have done a wrong, let your partner know. You will both feel stronger to face the next challenge.
Being a part of the ‘couple’ should not affect the sense of oneself.
Establishing boundaries where needed helps to maintain a balanced relationship and allows each to become fulfilled. Keep your own hobbies and pastimes but remember to share an interest in what your partner does as well.
You are 2 separate entities with often-differing likes, dislikes, traits and interest. Respecting and allowing for these differences is essential for reducing conflict.
Love brings along many expectations that need to be met. Every partner expects something from the other. But the expectations must be realistic and achievable. If both partners understand that that neither of them is perfect and accept each other “Warts and All” It will help them enjoy an equitably and contented life together.
There are three stages in every relationship.
The first is attraction. When you are first attracted to a person, you wish to know more about them, there likes, dislikes, interests etc. Then you gather courage to make your first move like asking to come for a movie, dance or dinner. Both partners often feeling embarrassed and awkward but probably mostly feeling over come with wonderful feelings about your newfound love.
The second is the testing stage. This is the stage when the relationship starts blooming. You are both learning more about each other. If you hide your emotions or are deceitful in any way at this stage, then you can be sure that you are building weak foundations. The relationship any well seem to flourish for a while but that weakness will undermine all the good work you do and it will fail. Honesty dealt with in a tender manner will be a strong bond that will help to hold you together.
The third is the conflict stage. As the relationship progresses and you have been together some time there will be conflicts and disagreements.
Those who are able to handle these conflicts with trust and equanimity will be able to keep the relationship going where others would simply flounder. So, learn to handle conflicts and learn form all the ups and downs. Because you have been together for a long time you may well feel your partner takes you for granted or that you are in a rut. The positive side of that coin is you are in a comfortable relationship were you have mutual respect for each other. It may not have the zest and excitement of a new relationship but you have learned to live in contentment with another. This really is a fine achievement worthy of praise. It has the reward of a long lasting loving relationship that can only be coveted by many.
Allow your partner just to be human not some super-person who you expect must always get it right. If you allow them that courtesy they might then do the same for you!
Stay Well Stay Happy.
John